We love Donald Trump. Seriously.

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RE:WORDED
This is where we get to write all the stuff our clients don’t let us write.
You could say it’s our place to blow off a bit of steam — and drop the occasional F-bomb.

We love Donald Trump. Seriously.

Donald Trump pointing and yelling.

Maybe we could build a wall around his mouth?

By Dan & Gina

Now, now…before you get all judgmental and “well-I’d-never-work-with-these-idiots,” just keep reading.

We don’t love the Donald’s adversarial, bullying approach. We don’t love his propensity to incite violence. And if he had actual ideas, we probably wouldn’t love them.

But man, we love his complete lack of shame.

It’s fascinating to see someone so utterly uninterested in what anybody thinks about him that he could essentially shut off his filter and say/write/do whatever pops into his head.

Twitter says it all

Back in 2012, we predicted that Twitter would be gone by 2015. At the rate Twitter’s growing (or not growing), it looks like we were about two years off. And thank god. Because following @realDonaldTrump has been a serious highlight of the past half-year.

Here, in no particular order, are some of our favourites:

Jeb Bush just got contact lenses and got rid of the glasses. He wants to look cool, but it’s far too late. 1% in Nevada!”

Why poke holes in an opponent’s platform when you can call him four-eyes? It’s just so much easier, and (sadly) more effective.

It’s Friday. How many bald eagles did wind turbines kill today? They are an environmental & aesthetic disaster. 

The answer is probably zero. Bald eagles are actually quite intuitive birds that can recognize danger. It’s one of the reasons they’re the lions of the sky, and why they were chosen as a symbol of American prowess. But kudos for preying on (a) blind ignorance and (b) blind patriotism to keep the world from moving towards a more responsible and far cheaper energy source.

 @ariannahuff is unattractive both inside and out. I fully understand why her former husband left her for a man- he made a good decision. 

He could have pandered to his base and called out Ms. Huffington’s ex’s lewd and un-Christian lifestyle, but the Donald doesn’t pander to anyone. So instead he said that her ugliness turned her husband gay.

I refuse to call Megyn Kelly a bimbo, because that would not be politically correct. Instead I will only call her a lightweight reporter! 

There’s a great Monty Python skit called “Election Night Special” (ironically) where a guy breaks in every so often to say, “Can I just say this is the first/second/third time I’ve been on television,” and the host replies with, “Sorry, there isn’t time.” This is like that, but way better because it’s actually happening.

I wonder if Apple is upset with me for hounding them to produce a large screen iPhone. I hear they will be doing it soon—long overdue.

Ok, we said there was no particular order, but this one’s our favourite. Taking credit for something you had absolutely nothing to do with, and actually believing you had something to do with it, is special. In fact, we’re going to start doing that ourselves. In the next post, we’ll tell you about the time Dan invented the phrase, “It’s All Good.”

How Can We Help You?

If it’s on the list, we can do it. If it’s not on the list, we can probably still do it. Either way, let’s talk.

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    And it's off!

    Thanks! As soon as your request makes it through cyberspace, we’ll give it a look. Until then, enjoy the best of Niles Crane. Pound for pound, there’s never been a better TV character.