Billy’s grandfather took him to the circus when he was eleven years old. When they got in under the big top, Billy’s eyes lit up. The sounds. The colours. The energy. He could hardly contain himself. But then his grandfather showed him the tickets. Front row! Heaven.
They sat. The lights went down. And out came the clowns. The crowd erupted, but no one cheered more than Billy. So much so that the head clown took notice. He walked over to Billy. The music went down. The spotlight flipped on and shone down on Billy. The clown pulled a fuzzy microphone from his over-sized coat, put it to his mouth and cleared his throat.
“Hey, kid…are you the horse’s head?”
“No!” said Billy with a grin.
“Then you must be the horse’s ass!”
The crowd roared with laughter, but Billy was mortified. The clown put the microphone to Billy’s mouth, almost daring him to say something. Billy froze. He had nothing but a single tear rolling down his cheek. He ran from the big top to the sound of a mocking audience.
The next day, Billy’s grandfather enrolled him in a kiddie improv class where he learned the art of zinging quickly. Grandpa vowed to bring Billy back to the circus so he could confront the clown.
Five years later, they went back. Same big top. Same seats. And the same clown came out. This time, Billy was ready. He made sure the clown saw him. And sure enough, the clown came over, and pulled out the microphone.
“Hey, kid…are you the horse’s head?”
“No!” said Billy confidently.
“Then you must be the horse’s ass!”
Billy took a deep breath in…and froze.
He had nothing.
The derision in the crowd was palpable.
Billy ran out in tears.
Being sixteen now, Billy was able to make his own decisions, and he decided to enroll in the International School of Comebacks in Denver. For eight months, he practised. And he got really good.
He came home and was ready.
This time, he bought the tickets and invited his grandfather with him. Same big top. Same seats. And yes, same clown.
“Hey, man…” said the clown. “Are you the horse’s head?”
“No.”
“Then you must be the horse’s ass!”
“Hey, clown…”
…
…
…
“Fuck you.”